23rd May 2017 – I begin the blog today in somber mood. My phone pinged at just after 10.30pm last night to the news that there had been a bomb in Manchester. My surroundings, a beautiful hotel room just around from the Cathedral in Exeter, suddenly changed. I instantly turned on the news and it was clear from the start this this wasn’t just a regular incident. My thoughts instantly turned to my little boy and how much I felt the need to hug him and protect him. But sadly I can’t. I think these emotions are normal but it has begun to highlight to me how tough it is being away from him at any point in time. I accept my reality but particularly at times like this it sucks! It is a reality forced on me, out of my control and slowly the feelings turn to a bit of anger!
I take an early train back home and despite the lack of sleep rise with enough time to head to the gym for a quick workout before I leave. I spend the train journey gazing out of the window and thinking of all the people caught up in this atrocity. I also think a lot about how someone gets themselves so low in life, so disenfranchised, so marginalized that they can be radicalized in to committing a suicide attack?! It is all so shocking in equal measure.
I have to give a speech at our Company Kick Off today. I run through the slides on the train and arrive in better spirits and try to project an upbeat message. All things considered I do manage to keep things upbeat and positive. But this projection is far from how I feel inside by the end as my thoughts drift once more. Events like these shake the very foundation of society and they highlight so many of the problems that we, as citizens, are facing. This isn’t meant to be a political platform but I do think that society has a great deal of work to do at the moment. I don’t want to live in a place where children can be exposed to these kind of things. I also don’t want to be part of a country that can inflict this kind of damage on other people. I know we aren’t perfect either. As ever I can only change my little part of the world and I do this by chatting to the lady opposite to me on the train and trying to make the people at my Company smile. Surely people, this can’t be what we want! It really can’t?!