Saturday 27th May 2017 – Do I feel comfortable in my own home? Well, for nearly 8 months the simple answer to this question would have been a resounding no! I’ve dreaded being at home. I’ve dreaded being home alone because the house contains so many bad memories and it has felt so empty.
So today is a pivotal moment in the RebuildMe journey as today I am having a Barbeque for my sons friends and also a few of mine. But before the evening can begin the first objective of the day is to tidy the house and the garden. Then it is a trip to the local store to get the provisions. This is rounded off with a trip to the hardware store to get some charcoal and some fire lighters and all is set for the evening ahead.
My afternoon is spent in the park with my son and his little buddies from school. We organize a scavenger hunt, we play football, we play cricket, we play hide and seek, climb trees and even find a wild rabbit. Sunny afternoons like this are amazing and as the boys start to show signs of tiredness we head back home to light the barbeque and prepare for the guests.
Within an hour or so the house is alive. The adults are in the garden sharing a glass or two and the kids are upstairs running riot together. The guests are happy and chatting away, the kids are happy and playing away but best of all I am happy as the house is alive again and I can see how excited my son is.
Again these are things that would never have been so important as events a year ago. But now I’m so grateful. I’m so grateful that people have turned up and that I am able to fill the house with happiness once more. I really hope this is a sign of things to come. That this is a sign that this house can again be a proper home and filled with joy and happiness and it is also a sign that this man can achieve these things alone.
I’ve always played life the way I see it and I’ve always tried to give things 100%. What I do see is that I am not shy of effort and unlike yesterday where my effort was focused inwards and my mind took over. Today my energy is focused outwards and my mind is fizzing trying to be a good host and make sure that everybody around me is having a good time. Today was one of the best days ever at the house because I made it a good day. It took effort it took courage but it was worth it!