11th August 2017 – Anyone who has read my blog will know that the last 18 months have been the most difficult in my life for the entire 43 years. I’ve experienced pain like I never thought I would ever experience. Unimaginable pain that has dropped me to the floor. Every single part of my life has been impacted and for anybody reading this who, like me until 18 months ago, has never experienced anything like this. I can assure you this pain can really hurt physically, your stomach churns, your pulse races and every muscle in your body aches. In case I ever forget this, this pain caused me to put a belt around my neck and tighten it to the point I passed out. At the time, in those early days, it seemed the easiest way out!

I write this as a reminder, a reminder of where I am now and how far I have come on this Rebuild journey. But I also write this to remind myself that these are just points in our life and even though, when we are in them, they feel all consuming. At the time it reminded me of the scene in Star Wars (and I mean proper Star Wars) where Luke, Han et.al are trapped in the Garbage Chute and the walls are coming in. It feels like your whole world is coming in and imploding on top of you and you are shouting at your head (aka R2D2 to make it stop).

As the dust has begun to settle one of the most important things I have learnt is that the biggest constant is time. It goes on and it is precious! I wrote in a previous blog that I can’t remember the last time I sat down and watched a TV show……….. I think there is a reason for this! I have so many things that I want to do. I have so many things that are more precious to me than watching TV and so many people in my life who are so much more deserving of my precious time than the sofa and the TV. In our lives we can get lost and ‘things’ can get on top of us. But when things get dark and I mean properly dark then there is real clarity on where the light shines.

I now appreciate ‘Time’ so much more. If you see me Smile, share positivity and lets all enjoy the ride. The ride is too short to complain and be negative!


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