Tuesday 17th October 2017 – Well it has arrived, the one year anniversary of this blog. I’ve made it! Which was touch and go at the start to be honest…………….. Am I rebuilt?! No! This is not a project that can ever really have an end date. But am I alive again? Yes, really truly alive again!

So where do I find myself today? Well the day started with a trip to the gym at 6am in the morning. The weight loss has gone and each day my strength and energy has slowly returned along with my zest for life. I am able to bounce out of bed again and joke with the Gym staff. Compared to a year ago this man is a different man.

There are 2 cards on my worktop in the morning. One from my Mum and Dad who have been a rock through all of this and another from a close friend. We lean on those closest to us in adversity and I’ve lent on these 3 people deeply and they have responded. But it is true. You reap what you sow and I know that this devotion has been earned through my interaction with others through life.

I feel the purpose has returned. I’m cracking on at work and rebuilding my networks and the projects that drive me on. My colleagues who were there to pick me up and support me in the early days can see the difference. My mojo is back and the new business ideas are starting to flow again. My life has always been about getting stuff done and I am again.

My evening is spent with one of my buddies doing weights and watching Spurs. The world is so different in some ways but is also so familiar in others. The only tear I shed is on seeing the birthday card from my little boy when I get home. I miss him. I miss him everyday that I am not with him but that is only 50% of the time and in between I focus on making this man the most awesome dad I can be!

I now look in the mirror and I like what I see. Yes I’d like to find love, I’d like to rid myself of the nightmares of the past and the sadness of not being with my boy. But I truly do have so much to live for. I’ve taken a bit of time away from Social Media to gather my thoughts and grow. To get my own sense of control back! But the next phase is all about the growth and I’m looking forward to the ride! Happy Tuesday All.

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