Thursday 26th October 2017 – Hearing ‘Daddy, I love you, you are the best daddy in the world’ from my 5 year old son yesterday morning has made the struggles of the last year worth while. This wasn’t scripted or prompted this was something he said and I know he meant. The reality is I didn’t choose the path I am on. It wasn’t my choice to be a single parent. But acknowledgement from the most important person in my world that I am doing a good job gives me an amazing feeling. To reinforce the same point I arrived home a little later than planned from meetings in London yesterday evening and my son had his face pressed against the window waiting for me to come home. According to my Mum he had been like that for nearly 2 hours! Our relationship is amazing. He is my best buddy, my pal and his smile and laughter light up the room and fill my heart with joy. We treat each other with respect and even though I am the parent and he is the child we both treat each other like adults.
I still hate the days when I am apart from him but know I am growing as a Daddy every day and as I grow as a parent I am also growing as a man. One of the greatest things I am beginning to understand is patience. Having the patience to allow my son to explore and to grow at his own speed and in his own way. These are skills that are helping me in my adult relationships as well as I try to rebuild my life and become the best version of myself I can be. A modern man needs to flex between so many different styles all the time. At work we may need to be the bold leader, at the gym the focused and hard working sportsman and then at home the caring and sharing father. I do find it hard to be all these things and to do all these things well. Right now I also need to be the sympathetic and motherly father when he is hurt and upset.
The reality is that I will never be perfect! All we can do is strive to be the best we can be and hearing what I heard this morning makes me realize that there is one area, at least, that I am doing pretty well at right now and the validation means so much!